Crank no start and no fuse warning on dash

I suspect you have more then one issue. Let's start with the no fuse issue. That is normally one of the IOD fuses are removed or blown. This was common on these vehicles when the dealer stores them on the lot, they pull these fuses so that the batteries don't drain. It tells them no fuse so that they remember to put it back in before they sell the vehicle.

As for not starting that may be a TIPM issue but we need to find out if the ASD relay is being grounded by the PCM. So take a look at the wiring diagram and find out if it is getting ground when you crank the engine.

You do this by removing the relay and putting your test light lead or volt meter lead on battery positive because you need to supply the power when testing a ground. Then the other lead on the B5 terminal of the relay block and crank the engine. Does the test light come on or the meter show 12 volts? If not then the PCM is not grounding the relay so that it closes and sends power to fuse 26 and 32.

https://www.2carpros.com/articles/how-to-use-a-test-light-circuit-tester

https://www.2carpros.com/articles/how-to-check-an-electrical-relay-and-wiring-control-circuit

Let me know what questions you have and we can go from there. Thanks

Let's start with changing the oil and spark plugs. I suspect you have fouled spark plugs and all the cranking has washed fuel down to the crank case. If you do not change your oil, the fuel in the current oil can cause cylinder wall scoring so we need to do that first.

https://www.2carpros.com/articles/how-to-change-engine-oil-and-filter

Let's address the not starting and then we can figure out the wipers as that sounds like a different issue and we will need to get a new post started for that one. Just pull the relay for the wipers so they are not moving while trying to figure this out.

Thanks

Yeah. Unfortunately when you have weak spark or no spark, then the combustion chamber gets soaked with fuel because it is not getting burned. When this happened it eventually makes it way into the oil.

Let us know when you change the plugs out and if the engine is starting. Thanks