Runs without fuel pump relay

Fuel pump in it wont start; with it out it will start but runs really crappy.
Car drove fine, went home let it sit. Went to start it again and it was turning over but wouldn't start and you could smell gas. Seemed like it was flooding.
someone told me to get the truck into deflood mode which tells the computer to deflood: which is hold the gas pedal all the way to the floor and pull the fuel pump relay and start it. I did that and it almost started but it backfired through the air intake and caught the air filter on fire.
Since then, got a new air filter. Put the fuel pump relay back in and tried to start it. Wouldn't start, the engine would just turn, turn, turn. Changed spark plugs, changed fuel filter. Still no start smelled like fuel. So I tried the deflood procedure without holding the pedal to the floor. Pulled the fuel pump relay. Hard to start on the third try it started but with a rough idle.
after about a minute of rough idle the engine started revving from low to high. Tried to put fuel pump realy back in while it was running and it died immediately. Tried to restart it with the relay in; nothing. Pulled the relay out and it started on the second try.
fuel pump is priming with the relay in, I can't hear the fuel pump with it out and I know you aren't supposed to but.
i need help!