2002 Volkswagen Passat

Electrical problem
2002 Volkswagen Passat 4 cyl Front Wheel Drive Automatic 82000 miles

i have a wagon 2002 month 6 I turn the key to start it and the shift light wont stay on and the car will not start. It turns over fine. The fuel pump does not turn on no whining or noise.
I checked the fuel pump and is works when I apply current to it. I have been unable to locate the relay and the dealer is unable to supply a relay that matches any I have under the dash.
I have another car exactly like it only a 2003 when I turn the key on the shift light goes on and stays on. This is the foot llight on the shift console next to the handle. I turn the key on the 2002 and it blinks on then off I also hear a click from the relay inside the console. What is causing this?
August 13, 2010.

Fuel pump relay in panel under left side dash see diagram

See no relay in console is there a part number
Shift light off trans in emergency running with a malfunctioning control module.
Hope this helps
Thanks for donate

Aug 13, 2010.
That is not the panel in my car
The fule pump relay is close but not the same
Part no 1J0 906 383B does not fiit there are 2 less connectors on mine and the power feeds are smaller connectors.
There is nothing in bank 4 on my car
The missing relay is pictured

Where is the malfuntioning control module located for the transmission light?

Aug 13, 2010.