I have a leak in the exhaust, but don't know where

Is there a general area from where you are hearing the leak? I would say that if you are hearing it in the bay area, you can try sprating some carb cleaner on the manifold gasket area. If it evens out, you know the gasket is bad. However, there really isn't anything to recommend putting into the system to help show where the leak is, since it is the exhaust and thus post combustion.

Anyone else know of some type of UV or blacklight solution like they would use in an AC leak test?

I wonder if im not gonna cause a fire with the carb cleaner. I hear a pssss but can't see if its the manifold, after a couple of minutes running I see a bit of smoke come up, I replace the o-rings between manifold and pipe but that didn't solve the problem. Is it dangerous to run the car with a leak like that?

The biggest issue syou need to isolate is where it is at. I can help but wonder whethe it is a vacuum leak you are hearing vice an exhaust leak. The "puff of smoke" issue brings up a lot more questions that I may not have the answers for so I would leave that up to someone more knowledgeable.

I have done teh carb cleaner test a number of times, and I still have all of my hair. The issue is with flammable fluids is commonly exposures to open flames or sparks. Kinda like putting lighter fluid on burning embers, doesn't really ignite until you blow on the embers and get a spark.

Acually a spray bottle and soap will work

Exhausts can be repaired, but I would not advice you to go that direction. Repairs are usually expensive since you will repair it today and tomorrow it breaks down again. What will you resort to if not repair it again. Do some replacements and consider quality exhaust systems.