1996 Volkswagen Golf oil pan

What engine size? 1.8L, 1.9L etc?

Have you removed the bolts at the flywheel side of the engine? They are pretty hard to get to so many people seem to miss them. If you got those bolts then you may have to lower the subframe to allow the pan to drop

Remove the stabilizer bar. This should let pan drop down. Would you like stabilizer bar removal steps?

Disconnect the negative battery cable.
Raise the front of the vehicle and support it with jackstands. Remove the front wheels.
Remove the bolts/nuts securing the outer ends of the sway bar, then remove the bolts/nuts securing the brackets.
Remove the sway bar.

To install:

Position the sway bar in the vehicle.
Install the bolts/nuts securing the brackets. Tighten them until just snug (they will be fully tightened later).
Install the bolts/nuts securing the outer ends of the sway bar. Tighten until just snug (they will be fully tightened later).

NOTE
On Golf and Jetta models, the collars of the washers face away from the bushings. The conical side of the bushings face the washers.

Install the wheels, then lower the vehicle.
Bounce the vehicle several times and allow the vehicle to stabilize.
On Jetta and Golf models, tighten the bolts/nuts to 18 ft. lbs. (25 Nm). On other models, tighten the bolts/nuts to 15 ft. lbs. (20 Nm).
Connect the battery cable.

The gasket is probably stuck from heat holding it on, yes try using a rubber mallet to budge it loose.