1988 Pontiac Firebird Car Won't Start

2 years of sitting does a surprising amount of damage to an engine. Other than the battery, you will probably need to change the oil, and how old is the gas that is in the tank? If it's 2 years old, that would cause it, too.

When you turn the key, when all the dash lights come on, but before you start it, do you hear the fuel pump kick on? Sounds almost like an odd "Hiss" noise.

If not, the fuel pump might be shot. After sitting that long, it wouldn't be surprising.

If you don't want to stick any time into it, just stick a "For Sale" sign on it, and just sell it as is. Somebody will take it off your hands and get it running!