Can not get EGR and EVAP monitors to set

EGR Monitor:
Prerequisites: no codes present (even a pending code), engine coolant temperature is above 75 degrees f; barometric pressure above 72kPa.

1. Idle vehicle five minutes or until it is in closed loop.
2. Accelerate and drive for one minute at steady speed above fifty mph.
3. Coast vehicle down to twenty mph (vehicle in drive, do not use the brakes).
4. Repeat steps two and three four times.

The EVAP can be a real bear to set because it takes a very narrow set of conditions to make it set.
For instance if the fuel tank is under 1/4 or over 3/4 of a tank it won't run the test.
If the engine and air temperatures do not match it won't run the test.
I have seen the EVAP take a month to set.

You also may want to visit a dealer and have them scan it with a dealer level tool. There are a couple items that set codes that do not turn on the CEL but will block the monitor tests from running.

You can drive it out to an area that you can go fifty mph at. Then shut it off. Start it and follow the guide. It should set at least the EGR. As I said, some of these monitors are a real PIA.
If it does not set, take it to a dealer/shop and have them make sure you do not have some odd code set or pending. There are codes that do the same kind of crud that the monitors do. They may trigger and then get held in memory for a week until the trigger happens again and the light finally goes on.

I actually had a friend who got so fed up trying to repair a car that he decided to part it out. He sold most of the parts on eBay and actually ended up making more than he had paid for the car!