It started with the rear windscreen washer - would not turn off.
When I arrived home and turned off ignition and got out of car the radio switched itself on - the front windscreen washers activated and a loud ticking sound was coming fro fuse box area. I tried to turn on car again but there was no ignition at all - completely dead. Got out of car again when the alarm started going off. Couldn't stop it as remote was unresponsive. Had to disconnect battery.- and that is how it is at present.

Problem occurred @ xmas eve during cold spell(?) after an automatic car wash - although the rear wiper was playing up intermittently in the previous week. Ive been away for Xmas and just come back