Need advice

Do you really need all that stuff? What is wrong with the struts? Are they leaking or making noise? If it is noisey is it the struts or are the spring seats just broken? The control arms it is pretty clear the bushings have split so you can replace just the bushings without having to replace the control arms. The timing belt kit should be done if you have not had the belt done but if the water pump or seals are not leaking then you can get away without doing them for now. Why do they want to change the engine mount? Has it collapsed? Let me know and also price out the same job at the dealerships vs. An independent shop and find out about the warranty on the job? Volvo now offers a 2 year unlimited warranty on there repairs if you have them done there instead? Not a bad deal if you plan on keeping your vehicle for a while? So it comes down to if your vehicle has been reliable and you do not plan on buying a new car soon then it may be worth spending the money to make it last longer, especially the timing belt. That belt breaks and you are bending some valves. So at the very least have the timing belt done for now and save some money to work on the suspension repairs later.

When your mechanic checked your vehicle over, did he say the engine mount was causing the shaking? You may want to have the noise diagnose first to make sure it is not something mechanical in the engine?