Dies when put into gear or stopping at light

I took it to advance auto parts to run the check engine light diagnostic but since the check engine light isn't on it couldn't tell me anything. The light did turn on but only once and it wasn't on for very long.

I'm not really sure I know what it should be but my fiance took it to a shop and he stated that the problem was being cause by a bad egr (erg) valve or a clogged fuel filter I don't have a book on my car though and cant locate the fuel filter or the valve in question without some kind of diagram but haven't found one. Anybody know where I can get a fuel system schematic or schematic for the location of an egr valve?

Ok I adjusted the idleing speed and cleaned the iac and throttle body to the best of my ability and I replaced all of the spark plugs because there was oil in them and the car is still doing the same thing, however today while I was attempting to drive the car to see if the issues were resolved a person stopped and told me that my catalytic converter was glowing red. I have never seen anything on my car glow red ever what could cause this? Is it a new symptom from the same issue or is it a symptom of a whole new problem?